Unsurprisingly, lowculture has opted not to watch the football tonight. But neither have we been organised enough to get tickets for the opening night of the new Matrix film, so we shall have to content ourselves with the trailer for now.
But wait! Those ghostly white twin baddie dudes have a sense of balance that only a spirit level could measure, and pack punches with the force of a multi-speed power drill.
And so they should, because the pasty pair are none other than Neil and Adrian Rayment, aka the DIY duo from Better Homes with Carol Vorderman.
As well as tackling such everyday household tasks as putting up shelves and sanding down doors, the twin brothers also happen to be black belts in karate. Which must come in handy when the electric saw breaks down.
But now we're looking at Carol with renewed suspicion. We are now wondering whether the mathmatical genius is little more than a cyborg ready to decapitate Richard Whiteley with a shot of brain-blasting binary. Or at least a sharpened consonant.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.