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Lowculture vs. Cuoco, Round 2

"REALITY"! Big Brother US, E4, 9.00pm

Big Brother USWe can't say we felt especially upset about the lack of Celebrity Big Brother this year - even the Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack on E4 left us feeling utterly uninspired, considering that by the time the finale was being promoted, we'd forgotten it was even on. And while the USA's Big Brother has always been the rather poor relation of its UK, erm, big brother, the phrase "any port in a storm" springs to mind. You may note that it seems to be on a little early this year - another side-effect of the writers' strike (which is now over, hooray!), causing network heads to scrabble for any non-scripted programme to put out rather than end up with a schedule full of dead air.

And since our chums across the pond are no less prone to tampering with an established working formula than we are, this year's competition is all about coupling up, so each contestant will be paired with a house "soulmate" (the show's subtitle is 'Til Death Do You Part', in a splendidly macabre sort of way). They stand for Head of House together, get evicted together, go to the toilet together (probably) - everything. And best of all, one of the couples is a set of gays! How very awesome. Even better, one of them "slept with his sister's cheerleading coach - ruining her cheering career." We bet she was S-A-D sad about that. So, excellent idea or transparent tokenism? Probably the latter, but we're sufficiently intrigued to tune in and find out.

"COMEDY"! The Big Bang Theory, Channel 4, 10.00pm

Big Brother USOne of our crowning memories of bizarreness here at lowculture was the time when we previewed season eight of Charmed and found ourselves having to defend our opinions against a particularly zealous defender of bleached blonde talent vortex Kaley Cuoco. Anyway, we've sharped our claws and prepared for battle again, since our arch-nemesis has returned in a new sitcom about a hot girl befriending some nerds. Oh yeah, we can see how this one's going to go.

In fairness to Cuoco (ugh, we feel dirty just writing that), she started out in sitcoms and was generally agreeable on 8 Simple Rules, although we get the impression that her role as an airhead didn't require a whole lot of acting. So she's playing to her strengths, such as they are, because in this show she's cast as a beautiful bimbo (the producers claim the character is not an idiot; they are fooling no one but themselves) who moves in next door to a couple of geeks, the variety of which only ever exist on television or occasionally in movies, because they have no dress sense and talk about science fiction all the time. Hilarious, huh?

It's not doing too badly in the States, but its relative popularity is a mystery to us - we've watched a fair few clips of it on the internet and just don't see the funny, and it saddens us greatly that the lovely Johnny Galecki has been reduced to appearing in this show. And knowing the way our luck runs, it will almost certainly rate higher than...

TRAGEDY! 30 Rock, Five, 11.45pm

30 RockOur current favourite show ends tonight, and is bowing out with very little fanfare. It hasn't really done the business for Five, ratings-wise, and has been punished by being given the dreaded double-bill treatment (though this was an extra treat for fans of the show, when you think about it) and pushed later and later into the night, up to the point where only insomniacs and the truly devoted are likely to be watching. This show deserves so much better, and if The Big Bang Theory ends up becoming a smash hit over here, we may have to go around whacking the offending viewers with sticks until they see sense.

So, final episode, and things are not currently looking up for ol' Liz Lemon. Floyd's moved to Cleveland and she's attempting to maintain a long-distance relationship. Tracy Jordan is currently missing in action (this sounds like a job for the marvellous Dr Leo Spaceman), and Jack's set to get married to hollow-boned possibly fake British chippie Phoebe. Oh, and his sassy old broad of a mother is back in town.

We've loved this show dearly, and it truly saddens us that, much as in America, it hasn't had the viewing figures it deserves. But by the hammer of Thor, let's just hope we at least get to see season two at some point, rather than just getting left in limbo like we were with Big Love. Don't think we've forgotten about that, Five.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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