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Beeny round the world and I-I-I I can't find my baby

DEVELOPING! Property Ladder, Channel 4, 8.00pm

Property LadderApologies for that utterly dreadful headline; it came to us out of nowhere and somehow we felt a spooky compulsion to use it. That's our only excuse. Anyway, Dame Sarah Beeny is back, even though it feels like she hasn't really been away. We've learnt not to get too excited by an alleged new series of Property Ladder because inevitably you only ever get about three new episodes before the rest of the series consists of "revisit" episodes with 95% recycled footage. But then, perhaps that's how they can make a new series as often as they do. If so, we're not complaining; a day of Beeny is a brighter day where we're concerned.

We are quite alarmed, however, that according to the listings in today's Radio Times, both of the featured couples in this show appear to take Sarah Beeny's advice. What? Do they not understand the point of this show? The whole idea is for them to go "we want to rip out the period features and replace them with this lovely stone cladding we found in a skip" while Dame Sarah sucks in her breath disapprovingly and suggests that this Might Not Be Such A Good Idea, only for them to completely ignore her and end up knocking £32,000 off the face value of the property (only to be rescued at the end by an infuriating rise in the market which lets the clueless sods make a profit despite utter incompetence).

Everybody seems to be interested in some sort of change-of-use project this week - one is converting a former Methodist church, while another is modelling a pub into a country home. Whatever the outcome, we're glad Sarah Beeny is back to doing what she does best, rather than fronting those dodgy How Toxic Are You? documentaries which didn't appear to contain any actual facts or useful information. Not her fault, of course; The Beeny can do no wrong in our eyes. But this is where she belongs.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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