Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Beeny round the world and I-I-I I can't find my baby
DEVELOPING! Property Ladder, Channel 4, 8.00pm Labels: Channel 4, Property Ladder, TV
Apologies for that utterly dreadful headline; it came to us out of nowhere and somehow we felt a spooky compulsion to use it. That's our only excuse. Anyway, Dame Sarah Beeny is back, even though it feels like she hasn't really been away. We've learnt not to get too excited by an alleged new series of Property Ladder because inevitably you only ever get about three new episodes before the rest of the series consists of "revisit" episodes with 95% recycled footage. But then, perhaps that's how they can make a new series as often as they do. If so, we're not complaining; a day of Beeny is a brighter day where we're concerned.
We are quite alarmed, however, that according to the listings in today's Radio Times, both of the featured couples in this show appear to take Sarah Beeny's advice. What? Do they not understand the point of this show? The whole idea is for them to go "we want to rip out the period features and replace them with this lovely stone cladding we found in a skip" while Dame Sarah sucks in her breath disapprovingly and suggests that this Might Not Be Such A Good Idea, only for them to completely ignore her and end up knocking £32,000 off the face value of the property (only to be rescued at the end by an infuriating rise in the market which lets the clueless sods make a profit despite utter incompetence).
Everybody seems to be interested in some sort of change-of-use project this week - one is converting a former Methodist church, while another is modelling a pub into a country home. Whatever the outcome, we're glad Sarah Beeny is back to doing what she does best, rather than fronting those dodgy How Toxic Are You? documentaries which didn't appear to contain any actual facts or useful information. Not her fault, of course; The Beeny can do no wrong in our eyes. But this is where she belongs.
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Sarah makes it better*
VALUE! Property Ladder, Channel 4, 8.00pm Labels: Channel 4, Property Ladder, TV
First of all: are the trails for the new series of Property Ladder not just the greatest things currently airing on British TV (and we include all of the programmes in that)? The idea of Sarah Beeny secretly breeding a load of highly skilled and merciless property developers who have the knowledge of how to make profit from property instilled into them from nursery age fills us with glee - and the fact that she seems to be pregnant again every time we turn around only adds fuel to this fire, frankly.
So! Here's a new nine-part series of the best property show on TV (as much as we love Phil and Kirstie, Sarah Beeny is in an entirely different league. Naomi Clever? Not quite. Amanda Lamb. Close, but no gazebo. Kevin McCloud? Not in this lifetime) and it makes sense to get in at the beginning, because the last handful of the nine episodes in this series will probably be those tarted up repeats with about five minutes' worth of new footage.
In this opening episode, Dame Sarah takes on two separate sets of developers who are hoping to bump up their kids' college funds by channeling it into property. And since the profit's needed for something important, clearly they're going to take the free advice of a seasoned property developer who's made a lot of money out of it and has her own TV show to prove it, right? Like fun they are, because that's the entire point of this show. We even heard a whisper that Dame Sarah gets owned by a teenager in this episode. Let's hope her famous diplomacy skills can see her through that one.
*Anyone commenting below correctly identifying the source of this song lyric gains our eternal admiration.
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