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A date with density

MATCH! Holly and Fearne Go Dating, ITV1, 10.00pm

Holly and Fearne Go DatingWe meant to write about this last week, but amid all the excitement of BBC4 turning all gay and then our slight technological meltdown, it never quite happened. But still: better late than never, eh? Now, in a slightly embarrassing situation for us, we wrote the preview for this under the impression that this was the new version of our old Channel 4 favourite Streetmate, and the early birds amongst you will have seen a preview to that effect. Apparently, however, this is an entirely different show and the reworking of Streetmate starts in a couple of weeks on ITV2, just with Holly, not with Fearne. Sort of mistake that could have happened to anyone, really. Especially the sort of person who writes these updates a bit blind most of the time, due to not spending as much time in front of the telly these days as we clearly should.

So, moving swiftly on, Fearne Cotton - about whom we will not hear a bad word, despite what you might think of her, so there - and Holly Willoughby have the fate of the UK's singletons in their hands. We can see several of you getting a bit clammy at the very idea, so we shall move on without dwelling on that bit. The format, essentially, involves finding a willing single victim, who then gets a choice of two possible dates, one picked by Holly and one by Fearne, to take to Hell's Kitchen, in a particularly savvy piece of cross-promotion by ITV. Seriously: nice work.

Seems like an affable enough way of passing half an hour. Plus there's the potential for watching two people completely fail to get along on their date and then bitch each other out to the cameras afterwards, which is usually an enticing prospect, isn't it? Now watch as we seamlessly reuse all the stuff we wrote for the original draft of this when the new Streetmate turns up in a few weeks. Waste not, want not, that's always been our motto. That, and "Heather Locklear is our queen", obviously.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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