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A most unholy Church

AVOID! The Charlotte Church Show, Channel 4, 10.00pm

The Charlotte Church ShowThis is another show that we could have talked about last week, but where would the fun have been in that? This way, we get to incorporate all of the shocked, horrified, appalled (etc) reactions of the messageboard to the second series of a show that really ought to have been taken out the back and shot after its very first episode.

"Awful, awful, awful and NOT in a good way," said jerriblank. "Like sitting at home and boiling one's genitals in a vat of acid." junky admitted to having "just watched it for the Billie Piper bit.. Charlotte has absolutely no idea how to interview someone. Billie, for her part, did her best to look like she just rolled out of a crusty bed." Channel 4 can perhaps expect some compensation claims if WhiteNoiseMaker's experience is a typical one: "I cringed so hard during the theme tune song I broke my sofa." And we even got some insider information from Pensiero Bello: "I know someone who works on the show and it all sounds like a bit of a shambles. Church can't present (or sing any more) for shit, and apparently last series they'd be writing the jokes for her minutes before it was recorded."

Thus spake the lowculture jury. And that's without even discussing Charlotte's horrific obsession with duetting with her musical guests, which is rarely less than acutely painful. Tonight's edition should be particularly toe-curling, as Charlotte's guest is none other than Davina McCall. Presumably the topic under discussion will be how between them they've killed any British woman's chances of being given her own chatshow ever again between now and the year 3000. Good work, ladies. (However, congratulations on your recently announced pregnancy Charlotte, etc etc.)

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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