Friday, March 02, 2007
A most unholy Church
AVOID! The Charlotte Church Show, Channel 4, 10.00pm
This is another show that we could have talked about last week, but where would the fun have been in that? This way, we get to incorporate all of the shocked, horrified, appalled (etc) reactions of the messageboard to the second series of a show that really ought to have been taken out the back and shot after its very first episode.
"Awful, awful, awful and NOT in a good way," said jerriblank. "Like sitting at home and boiling one's genitals in a vat of acid." junky admitted to having "just watched it for the Billie Piper bit.. Charlotte has absolutely no idea how to interview someone. Billie, for her part, did her best to look like she just rolled out of a crusty bed." Channel 4 can perhaps expect some compensation claims if WhiteNoiseMaker's experience is a typical one: "I cringed so hard during the theme tune song I broke my sofa." And we even got some insider information from Pensiero Bello: "I know someone who works on the show and it all sounds like a bit of a shambles. Church can't present (or sing any more) for shit, and apparently last series they'd be writing the jokes for her minutes before it was recorded."
Thus spake the lowculture jury. And that's without even discussing Charlotte's horrific obsession with duetting with her musical guests, which is rarely less than acutely painful. Tonight's edition should be particularly toe-curling, as Charlotte's guest is none other than Davina McCall. Presumably the topic under discussion will be how between them they've killed any British woman's chances of being given her own chatshow ever again between now and the year 3000. Good work, ladies. (However, congratulations on your recently announced pregnancy Charlotte, etc etc.)