Tuesday, October 17, 2006
In a lather
SUDSY! Soap operas, on some channels, at some times
Phew! We were going to just write about one soap opera for today, but then we saw that lots of exciting things are happening all over soapland, so instead we'll do a quick rundown of all the exciting goings on all across everywhere. The Reader's Digest of soap operas, if you like.
First up on Neighbours on BBC1 at 1.40pm (repeated at 5.35pm, obviously), the folk on the messageboard will be cackling with glee to hear that Katya (or Cartier, if we're still calling her that) gets knocked down while crossing the road - and who's at the wheel of the car? Max. On his mobile phone, no less. Tsk tsk, Max. No wonder all the posters hate you. Elsewhere in Oz, the aftermath of Zoe's deranged wedding bombing is in full flow in Home and Away on Five at 6.00pm, with Jack needing an emergency transplant to save his life and Elaine suffering a heart attack - and this isn't the last time death will come to hang around Summer Bay looking hungry this week. Yikes.
The course of true love never ran true in Hollyoaks (on Channel 4 at 6.30pm), and the honeymoon is well and truly over for Justin and Becca - so much so that she's actually dumped him. You go girl! Justin proves that he's the model of maturity by...telling the police that Becca sexually abused him. Oh, Justin. You became such a twat when you started hanging around with Sonny Valentine, didn't you? For shame. Things are a little less lively in Emmerdale on ITV1 at 7.00pm, but if seeing Jean slap Louise tickles your fancy, you'll want to tune into this one.
Last, but not least (well, maybe least - it does so vary in quality these days, doesn't it?) is EastEnders on BBC1 at 7.30pm, and you'll note that you can actually watch almost two-and-a-half hours of soap continuously if you surf cleverly. LOWCULTURE does not encourage or condone such behaviour of course, since you should all be outside eating carrot sticks and climbing trees so as not to upset Jamie Oliver. Anyway, Sonia and Martin celebrate their divorce with a drink - and a shag. Oh, for goodness' sake. Does the holy institution of divorce mean nothing to the youth of today? Honestly.