(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })(); lowculture: And the torso is...

And the torso is...

Well you weren't expecting that, were you? That's right, yesterday's Thursday Torso belonged to none other than Gareth Gates, that long-forgotten pop moppet of yesteryear. Ooh, hasn't he grown, "etc".

Despite what this picture might suggest, Gareth has not fallen on hard times and had to start appearing in hardcore gay porn. Rather, it is a shot from his beautiful new 2006 calendar, which is available in all good shops where they sell calendars NOW.

If you're unsure about the health benefits of a Gareth calendar, we are happy to assure you that we have gained no small amount of enjoyment from our 2005 edition, purchased from HMV in early January for a mere 99p. At present, Gareth is on the wall playing football without a care in the world, and previous months have seen him looking really fit in a variety of poses, including:




» KNEELING DOWN (good one, that).

And, of course:


There is no reason to suspect that this year's offering will be any less comprehensive, and so we advise immediate purchase.

By Paul :: Post link :: ::  
5 pop-up comments :: Discuss on messageboard

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Mmmmmm Gareth ...

By Anonymous sgood, at 11:37 am  


By Anonymous Kieran, at 8:37 pm  

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH He can stammer my name all night

By Blogger Robbing The Dead, at 4:25 pm  

My, he's grown, hasn't he?

He wouldn't be able to talk with his mouthful, RTD

* Dies of shame *

By Blogger klee, at 6:33 pm  

what I want to know is who is that photographer? He's amazing....does anyone know if he does weddings?

By Blogger biggest fan, at 11:21 am  

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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