Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Just a little crush
GAY! The Jules and Lulu Show, ITV1, Midnight
A few months ago, lowculture found itself in a London nightspot for some kind of occasion or other. If we remember correctly, low-rent celebrities were in plentiful supply – "singer" Barratt Waugh was putting it about a bit, Brian Dowling lurked in the shadows looking slightly sweaty and Bombhead from Hollyoaks was engaged in some kind of idiot symposium with Andy Newton-Lee for much of the evening.
More offensive than any of these, however, was a gentleman who had brought his dog out clubbing with him. We were aghast and agog at his recklessness – a desperate showbiz party is no place for a reasonable human being, never mind a dog.
There was something familiar about the hound, though, and it was only later that we realised it was Lulu, who crops up in this dismal late-night game show with his owner, Julian Bennett.
As far as we can make out, the premise of the show is that young couples bring all their worldy goods for Julian to critique. If he deems them lacking in taste, they are crushed.
Needless to say, Julian is a homosexual, and so finds almost everything to be lacking in some respect – except for himself and his stupid dog. The irony is, of course, that the audience would far rather see him mashed up into a tiny gay cube by an industrial squashing unit than any amount of MFI furniture. Perhaps in the series finale, eh? We can but hope.
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I can't believe they've given the big gay bin lorry a second series!
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