Monday, September 19, 2005
BLAH! Lots of chat shows, ITV2, from 3.00pm
This is going to sound incredibly obvious, but if you're stuck for something to watch on TV, it's always worth paying attention to what the people around you are watching. Through employing this strategy at work, we've been introduced to the embarrassment of riches that is the ITV2 afternoon schedule. It's basically a back-to-back block of chatshows (or similar) from 3pm right through to 7pm, so if like us you have a strange fascination with other people's problems, you could do a lot worse than tune into this. The slot begins at 3pm with The Ricki Lake Show, and we'll admit at this point that this is our favourite; Ricki will forever be the Queen of Chat in our hearts. There are several things that make Ricki's shows classics: the rhyming show titles (often using no meter that we were previously aware of, such as in "Mom, for you I'll go from freak to chic!"), the repeated interruptions from Dr Phil, the time they had a parade of women in bathing suits and you had to figure out which of them were actually men. Ahhh, good times. At 3.50pm we move onto the much-missed Trisha, and 9.25 on ITV1 just isn't the same without it, frankly. There can't be a soul reading this who isn't familiar with Norfolk's finest, so instead we will just pay tribute to one show we caught last week, half of which was called "I Don't Want My Son To Become A Woman" and the other half, hilariously, was called "I Don't Want My Daughter". Like, no qualification there, I just don't want my daughter, full stop. Even if you're not a fan of the show itself, you can play the massively entertaining interactive game, What The Hell Has Trisha Done To Her Hair Today? Hours of fun. At 4.55pm you can catch up with Sally Jessy Raphael, which is a fabulous name both for a woman and a talkshow. Her hair attracts the same fascination as Trisha's, but for different reasons; it always looks the same, and it's always hideous. But you don't mess with Sally Jessy, we've learnt this already. And finishing us off at 5.45pm we have Judge Judy, which isn't a talkshow in the strictest sense, but has a lot of the right qualities in that a bunch of trashy people air their dirty laundry in a televised court proceeding, while a middle-aged harridan makes harsh judgements on all of them. Seriously, it's the most awesome way to spend an afternoon, but we take no responsibility if you feel slightly bloated and nauseated afterwards.