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Size is everything

There's still time to vote in our first CELEBRITY COCK FIGHT – a new lowculture item in which we invite allegations of dumbing down (or at least gaying up) by inviting you lot to vote on which of two public figures you think has the biggest penis.
We've chosen the world of Neighbours for the first poll, and specifically those bastions of middle-aged shagability, Karl Kennedy and Paul Robinson.
So if you think Paul is the Ramsay Street resident who's got it going on down below, send an email to paulisthebiggest@lowculture.co.uk.
But if you think Karl's the one who's really making Izzy's eyes water, write to nowayithastobekarl@lowculture.co.uk.
Don't forget to give us the reasons for your choice – preferably in the form of really disgusting slash fiction, or at the very least a rude limerick. Results next week.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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