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Back to reality

WATCH THIS (IF YOU MUST)! Celebrity Love Island, ITV1, 9.00pm
Oh, for the love of Pete (and Jordan). All of the celebrities who were a little too D-list (or possibly not D-list enough) to get on The Farm – with the exception of Rebecca Loos, who’s been there, done that and wanked off the pig to prove it – jet off to a tropical island and make with the kissy-kissy in this new reality show. If you’re waiting for the twist, sorry – that’s it. As far as we know, there’s no humiliation or debasement involved (except that of actually being desperate enough to appear on this show) and no tortune planned (except possibly for the viewing audience themselves). ITV are hoping this will be a big hit. We, on the other hand, are really not.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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