(function() { (function(){function b(g){this.t={};this.tick=function(h,m,f){var n=void 0!=f?f:(new Date).getTime();this.t[h]=[n,m];if(void 0==f)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+h)}catch(q){}};this.getStartTickTime=function(){return this.t.start[0]};this.tick("start",null,g)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var p=0=c&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-c)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load; 0=c&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,c),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt",e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=b&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var k=!1;function l(){k||(k=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",l,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",l); })(); lowculture: Send in the crabs!


Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Send in the crabs!

In recent months, ITV1 have foisted some absolute nonsense on us in the name of "celebrity". But fucking hell, CELEBRITY LOVE ISLAND really does put the tin lid on it.
The extremely flimsy premise of this latest rubbishfest is that we will somehow be interested in watching 12 no-mark slebs as they all have it off on a nice beach. Last night's opening episode saw Abi Titmuss expressing indignation at being branded "promiscuous", Fran Cosgrave arguing with some posh bird about whether or not Jodi Marsh was ever really pregnant with his child, and 34-year-old Jayne Middlemiss crying for her mum.
Most offensive of all was that the pack of losers contained lowculture's personal Bête Noire, the talent vacuum that is Judi Shekoni.
Shekoni is notable only for the fact that she has managed to carve out a whole career on the back of a three-episode guest spot on EastEnders back in 2002.
A nice girl, we're sure, but frankly we could not give less of a toss about who happens to be throwing what up her – regardless of whether they are doing it on a desert island or up against the bottle bank round the back of Somerfield in Epping.
Having said all that, of course, cheekly little Paul Danan was not looking particularly ugly, so we might well tune in again tonight, just to make sure it wasn't a fluke.

By Paul :: Post link :: ::  
3 pop-up comments :: Discuss on messageboard

3 Comments:

I may well get fired for this, but...

No no no! How can anyone find Paul Danan attractive? He munted when he was in Hollyoaks, he munts now, he will munt for eternity. And that is that.

By Blogger Steve, at 9:50 am  

Oh NO! Mr Kenneth begs to differ.

He's a bit of rough alright, but he has fantastic blue eyes. He looked great in those Rimmel ads with Kate Moss.

By Blogger Mr Kenneth, at 1:31 pm  

Judi Shekoni is ace. Well in a rubbish sorta way. She is incredibly remarkable at how shortly she was in Eastenders.Imagine how long she'll be around for after Celebrity Love Island - it sounds like at least 20 hours of tv so going by her current record I'd say she'll be around for the next twenty years milking her Celebrity Love Island appearance for all its' worth (I can imagine her turning up for Celebrity Love Island 40)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:56 pm  

Post a Comment

Tiny things for you to watch:

* To open in a
new window,
click anywhere
EXCEPT the icon.

messageboard

Your views from our forums. Click on the quote to join the discussion.




About Us

According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

GET IN TOUCH:
Click here to email.

Previously

A little bit of action :: Back to reality :: Hottieline to heaven :: Funny story :: European Bumming Union :: Cock fight :: Blub! :: NO, REALLY, WE MEAN IT THIS TIME :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS ::

Trawl our archives!

La Vida Lowculture

Thanks for visiting. Please come again!
All text © lowculture 2003-2007
Powered by Blogger. We also recommend Popjustice, Outpost Gallifrey, Digital Spy and thecustard.tv. Hooray!