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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» GAY! Emmerdale, ITV1, 7.00pm
Paul The Drag Queen With The Annoying Inflection is back to resume his role as The Only Gay In The Village, but not for long, as buff boyfriend Enzo is following suit. He might be able to reclaim his title sooner than he thinks, though, because the news Enzo brings is not happy news.
» AWAY! The Kids From Coronation Street, ITV1, 8.00pm
Ever wondered what happened to all of Gail's children when they reach the required age for the actor to be switched and morphed into someone far better looking? Well, wonder no more, as ITV have rounded some of them up. Taking part in tonight's show are Warren Jackson (Nick Tilsley, replaced by Adam Rickitt), Lyndsey King (Sarah-Lou, replaced by Tina O'Brien), Joseph Gilgun (Jamie Armstrong, who left with mum Tricia) and Dawn Acton (who, poor lass, was told that the role was being recast in 2002 and auditioned for the part she had played on and off for 11 years, only to lose out to Kate Ford). Oh, and some bloke called Davy Jones, who's a monkey, or something.
» DISMAY! Teachers, Channel 4, 10.00pm
The jury is still out on whether this fourth series is the dreaded Series Too Far, but in the meantime why not enjoy some more bullying, sulking and lesson-learning - and that's before we get to the pupils. Penny's real surname is revealed, and everyone starts to take the piss. Whatever could it be?
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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