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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Monday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» SAUCY! Hollyoaks, Channel 4, 6.30pm
A proposition from Max and OB spoils Chloe's fun. What can they be suggesting, though? A threesome in the back room of the Drive and Buy? Or something even less appealing? *Shudder*
» EVIL! Coronation Street, 7.30pm and 9.30pm, ITV1
Hooray – Corrie's very own ginger Satan, Cilla, is back on the scene tonight, and she's hoping to get her claws back into Les. But is she too late? He's going all out to impress Janice, and she looks like she might be about to succumb to his dubious charms – opening up the intriguing possibility of a world in which two women are fighting over Les Battersby.
» And that's just about all there is to look forward to, what with the football and the tennis. Bah. If you've spotted any other gems in tonight's sporty schedule, click on the comment link and tell us about them.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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