Monday, June 21, 2004
The new lowculture messageboards have been getting a bit lively since they opened last week, with over 100 members already signed up. Here are the three hottest topics so far...
» 1. BIG BROTHER
You're generally livid that Emma has been booted out while Jason and Victor remain free to roam around the house like a pair of rutting stags, but some people are trying to put the whole thing into perspective.
"All the housemates are stupid," noted Ste. "Emma was the stupidest – an ignorant, hyperactive girl who can't control herself when she's drunk. But from the moment she became an ignorant, hyperactive racist, she stopped being funny and started being dangerous – mainly because Victor's stupid too, and for all his playa traits, doesn't have the sense to realise that turning the other cheek is a better game tactic than trying to attack a girl."
For some of you, though, there are more pressing concerns than the constant feeling of menace in the house. Rondette, for example, has denounced Michelle as "evil – purely because she owns exactly the same pink Per Una poncho that I am/was so loving." It seems some transgressions are simply beyond forgiveness.
» 2. TV STARDOM
Our members are a talented lot, and several of them have impressive lowculture credentials of their own, thanks to their appearances on various low-grade TV shows. You've been in the background of the Terry and Gaby show; eaten ice cream in Taggart: The Movie; received a good, hard shove from Sheryl Lee in the movie Backbeat; popped up in Sex On The Job on Sky (not having sex, thankfully); and, most impressively of all, shared the screen with Ronnie Corbett as one of the smalls in Small Talk. Someone get these people an agent!
» 3. SUNSET BEACH
It may be gone, but it is most certainly not forgotten! From evil nuns and earthquakes that lasted about a month to murder victims bursting out of cakes and evil twins named Derek, it was the soap that had it all. Except, apparently, enough viewers to prevent it being cancelled. Sob!
» Seriously, how can you even think about missing all that great stuff. And that's before we even mention the discussions on Dogtanian, Oink comic, comedy catchphrases, Angel Samson, Grease 2, Paris Hilton and duck-shaped popcorn makers. All other TV messageboards should bow down before it now, just to save time.
Click here to see everything for yourself.