Thursday, March 18, 2004
MY TIVO STILL THINKS I'M CLAY (SPRING SPECIAL)
It has been some time since we filled in UK viewers on what is happening on American television. To catch everyone up, here is the Winter/Spring edition of My Tivo Thinks I'm Clay (a lowcuture exclusive by marknyc!):
» I Want A Famous Face (MTV) MTV tells us that the young people having plastic surgery to like the famous is "a disturbing new trend". In the first episode of the reality series, two twins(!) who are "obsessed" with Brad Pitt go under the knife to look just like him and increase their ability to "pick up girls". "Now people will think we are triplets." The greatest television series ever? Perhaps, yes. Not for the squeamish.
» The Littlest Groom (FOX) A "4-foot-5-inch bachelor" spent two episodes deciding which beauty he would marry. Would he go for tall or short? FOX will do anything in the name of love.
» Wonderfalls (FOX) Spring means new supernatural dramas! This one just started and is pitched as "A Niagara Falls souvenir shop worker's life is turned around when she has a nervous breakdown and finds that inanimate animal characters - figurines, cartoons - are talking to her."
» Playing It Straight (FOX) Following the success of Bravo's "Gay Bachelor" series Boy Meets Boy, this show flips and reverses the concept by having a lucky lady decide which of her fourteen male suitors is her perfect mate and not a screaming queen in disguise.
» My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé (FOX) A nice young woman had to convince her family to let her marry a disgusting fat man. If she could pull it off, she won won 500,000 dollars. She did. Then they threw in another $500,000 to her family. Then she found out that it was all fixed and the slob was already married. Everyone was happy. Aww.
» Celebrity Mole Yucatan (CBS) Tracy Gold from Growing Pains was on with Rudy from The Cosby Show and Dennis Rodman. Which one was The Mole sabotaging all of their missions? We don't know. We didn't watch it, but we hope they made Tracy eat something gross. Or at least just made her eat something.
» Bands Reunited (VH1) Frankie Goes To Hollywood! Kajagoogoo! Berlin! Five Star! They're baaaccck! Well, not really. They are all just pulled into a room for five minutes to act polite towards one another and hope we don't notice how fat and old they have become.
» The Surreal Life (UPN) What happened when they moved Erik Estrada,Tammy Faye Messner, Rob Van Winkle aka Vanilla Ice, Traci Bingham, Ron Jeremy, and Trishelle Canatella of The Real World Las Vegas into the tackiest house in Hollywood? They decided they needed Gary Coleman, Andy Dick and Sally Jesse Raphael to spice things up. Watching D-list celebrities at the lowest points of their careers is fascinating.
» The Apprentice (NBC) Donald Trump has generously decided to take a few young entrepreneurs under his wing and give them advice. Every week he gets to fire one of them.
» Survivor: All-Stars (CBS) After becoming famous for five minutes and channeling their success into a careers which involve appearing at nightclub openings in Boise, a few past contestants have decided to try it all over again.
» The Real World San Diego (MTV) Apparently, this season everyone moves into a luxury house, makes new friends, and leaves with a criminal record. Hooray!
» On Air With Ryan Seacrest (syndicated) In America, we apparently can't get enough of Ryan Seacrest. In addition to hosting American Idol, his morning radio program, and countless television commercials, he also has a daily talk show where he can share gossip with the likes of Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue, and American Idol losers. Trivia: His "news correspondent" is Rosanna Tavarez from Eden's Crush.
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