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WEDNESDAY'S LOW POINTS

The stuff you won't want to miss today.
» Stars Reunited 10am, BBC1 ... It's the cast of Z-Cars today, although we have a sneaking suspicion that most of the best ones are probably dead.
» You've Been Framed 5pm, ITV1 ... Just when Jonathan Wilkes thought things couldn't get worse than landing a job presenting You've Been Framed, the powers-that-be at ITV have shifted it to the 5pm slot – once home of the mighty Crossroads. We are pleased to reveal that, before the programme was cancelled, lowculture cast a wicked spell in the name of Angel Samson to damn other occupiers of the Crossroads slot for all eternity. The curse already worked on that crocodile bloke, so Jonathan had better watch his back.
» Relocation, Relocation 8pm, Channel 4 ... Time for a bit of light rejoicing over the return of Phil and Kirsty for another run of the spin-off where people with lots of money (but not quite enough, usually), hunt for a city pad and a country pile.
HOWEVER:
» The Bill 8pm, ITV1 ... You will just have to tape Phil and Kirsty this time, as it's Cathy Bradford's last stand tonight. She's got a big knife, she's itching to smash stuff and set things on fire and we can almost guarantee she's going to kill again. How can you resist?
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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