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JAN LEEMING'S BIRTHDAY FACT FRENZY

Newsreading queen Jan Leeming turns 62 today. To honour her on this great day, she is the subject of the latest lowculture Birthday Fact Frenzy. Don't forget – every second fact in our list is completely made up.
1. Poor old Jan has been married four times, and each of the marriages ended in failure.
2. Jan sang uncredited backing vocals on the UK's entry to the 1984 Eurovision Song Contest, Love Games by Belle and the Devotions.*
3. She worries about her appearance, and claims she does not photograph well – which is clearly nonsense.
4. Jan once thought she spotted Moira Stewart walking toward her on Oxford Street, but when she got closer, she realised it was someone else.*
5. Ever had micronised oxide crystals pumped on to the face by a compressor to erase the top layer of the skin, reducing wrinkles? Jan has!
6. On learning that her name was cockney rhyming slang for "steaming" (as in, drunk), Jan was reported to be "fucking livid".*
7. Jan enjoys regular appearances in panto – the most recent being a season in Newcastle as Fairy Bowbells in Dick Whittington.
8. Jan's hobbies include knocking on her neighbour's front door, then running away.*
9. Her autobiography, Addicted To Love, is available from many good booksellers – and probably a few dreadful ones too.
10. She loves cycling, and has a collection of more than 1000 of those little baskets that go on the front of ladies' bikes.*
* Not true
» OTHER PEOPLE BLOWING OUT THEIR CANDLES TODAY INCLUDE: US Presidential candidate Walter Mondale. Sadly, he was never elected, as the voters were unimpressed by his lack of a clue about the location of the beef (76) ... Not-very-shocking singer Marilyn Manson (35) ... Ex-footballer and person-we-would-least-like-to-be-stuck-on-a-plane-with Vinnie Jones (39).

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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