The stuff you won't want to miss today.
» Fire! Trapped On the 37th Floor 10am, Five ... One review says that this film, which stars Lee Majors, makes The Towering Inferno look like a work of high art. Sounds right up our street.
» Stars Reunited 10am, BBC1 ... More pointless TV reunion hilarity. Today, anyone who is interested can catch up with the cast of Bread, which might be worth watching if there's any chance of the two Avelines getting involved in some kind of a catfight.
» The Simpsons 6pm, BBC2 ... Newly-annulled Britney Spears is tonight's guest voice.
» Holby City 8pm, BBC1 ... Now all that stuff about the killer nurse and her dippy brother is out of the way, we can get back to the storyline we all secretly love best - ie Chrissie working her way through the hospital's male staff like a dose of salts.
» The Simple Life from 9pm, E4 ... This is one we've been meaning to download off the internet for a while – a charming tale of the adventures of unknown newcomer Paris Hilton and her pal Nicole as they deal with the daily realilties of life, love and sex. We don't have E4, though, so hopefully someone will manage to record it on video for us.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.