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The stuff you won't want to miss today.
» Today with Des and Mel 1pm, ITV1 ... Unbelievably, this show has had highlights. And some of them are shown today.
» The Simpsons 6pm, BBC2 ... A glimpse into the future, where Lisa is president and Bart is still... well, Bart, basically.
» Holby City 8pm, BBC1 ... Ooh, that Dr Rick. He used to be such a nice man. Now he's turned into some kind of gambling monster. Silly Dr Diane lent him her credit card, and he spent all the money at an online casino, so she's not best pleased, and is demanding payment – and we definitely wouldn't go home to her with an open pay packet. Rick decides that the best course of action is to perform a risky illegal operation, for cash. Yes, we can see that ending well.
» FILM: Pretty Woman 9pm, ITV1 ... Desperate rich bloke hires hooker. Lovely.
» Boss Swap 9pm, Channel 4 ... Fresh from the success of Wife Swap, C4 come up with a twist on the formula, in which two managing directors take charge of each others' companies. There will be tears before elevensies.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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