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Dallas actress Victoria Principal is 59 today. Hooray! To celebrate, she is the subject of the very first lowculture Birthday Fact Frenzy. What makes our fact frenzy more interesting than other, similar sprees is that every other fact in our list is completely made up.
1. Victoria once served as chair"person" of the American Arthritis Foundation.
2. She's married to Dr Harry Glassman. But, shockingly, he is not made of glass – nor is he a man.*
3. Dallas was originally supposed to be the story of Pam and Bobby, but the producers changed their minds when they realised that JR and Sue Ellen were much better.
4. Filming of a 1983 episode of Dallas had to be halted when Victoria had a catfight with Linda Gray over who got the last Pot Noodle at lunchtime.*
5. In the 70s, Victoria got bored of being an actress, and became an agent instead. Then she got bored of being an agent, and went off to become a lawyer. Quickly tiring of this, she became an actress, and has never looked back. Except for when she later gave up acting to write books and hawk skincare products.
6. Victoria was the producers' first choice for the role of Chrissie in Holby City.*
7. She has appeared in no fewer than 15 movies of the week, including Don't Touch My Daughter, The Night They Stole Miss Beautiful and the unforgettable River of Rage, which was shown every night on UK Living for most of the late 1990s.
8. Her favourite B*Witched song is Jessie Hold On.*
9. If you like getting up early to watch rubbish on your telly, you can catch ads for Victoria's skincare range on Living TV and FTN at about 5am most days.
10. Victoria likes the ends of her toilet rolls to be folded into a neat point after use, like they do at the Travel Inn. Any visitors to her home who fail to comply are frogmarched from the premises and shot.*
* Not true
» OTHER PEOPLE BLOWING OUT THEIR CANDLES TODAY INCLUDE: Joan Chen, who played Josie in Twin Peaks (44) ... Mel Gibson, slightly famous actor (48) ... Charming footballer Lee Bowyer (27).

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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