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Friday's Low Points

The schlock you won't want to miss today
» Top of the Pops 7.30pm, BBC1 ... OK, hands up who honestly thought we would ever see Mark Owen on TOTP again. Exactly! But here he is, singing Four Minute Warning, and he's even got higher billing than the all-conquering Cheeky Girls.
» Coronation Street 7.30pm, ITV1 ... If there's been anything funnier on the telly so far this year than Sally Webster's transformation into a demented stage school mum, we've not seen it (and that includes the side-splitting scene in last week's Bad Girls when Christopher Biggins, playing himself, returned to the prison to inform Buki that he and his "partner" had adopted her wheelchair-bound son and, when released, she could go and live with them all in their big house in the country). Tonight, Sally gets increasingly excited about Rosie's stage debut, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she's fucking dreadful. Meanwhile, poor, mute Sophie is feeling neglected because her bitch mother is too wrapped up in performing Kylie routines with her first-born to take her into town to buy a new party frock. Heartbreaking!
» My New Best Friend 11.10pm, Channel 4 ... We missed the opening episode of this last week (something to do with the pub, a load of Smirnoff Ice and a young man with a pierced tongue), but it sounds like a laugh – comedian Mark Wooton masquerades as a contestant's new, extremely odd best friend. If they can convince their other friends the relationship is genuine, they win £10,000.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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