The schlock you won't want to miss today.
» EastEnders 7.30pm, BBC1 ... Janine goes to extreme lengths to snare Barry (ie shagging him).
» The Bill 8pm, ITV1 ... Gina Gold is arrested for drink-driving. Chuck away the key!
» Bad Girls 9pm, ITV1 ... Last week's episode was a complete triumph, what with Christopher Biggins and his "partner" adopting Buki's son and Di giving birth to a cushion and all. Can they top it? You'd better believe they can. Tonight, Di and Fenner form an extremely unholy alliance, and Julie S and Al also form a partnership.
» Phoenix Nights 10pm, E4 ... Brian holds a fun day in the car park, the highlight of which is a bouncy castle shaped like a giant cock and balls.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.