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Back to school

D'oh! After the (relative) disappointment that was Big Brother 4, we promised ourselves we weren't going to stay behind for detention at the Fame Academy.
However, after catching the show twice in as many days, we think we might be willing to stick around for double music after all.
We do feel some extra revision is in order, though, so could somebody please tell us - what's the point of head teacher Richard Park? As far as we can tell, he plays little part in the proceedings other than to stand in the shadow of Simon Cowell and belittle the performers.
Tonight's show seemed to prove so, anyway, with vocal coach Carrie looking particularly irritated with Park's throwaway comments (he's not a fan of the boys, is he?).
But on the other hand, Geri incarnate Robin Gibb seems loathe to describe anyone's chances as more than "so-so".
As for the performances themselves, we feel that while Lorna and Alex are bound to go far with their sincere, soulful voices, we're not sure tonight's choice of songs suited either of them particularly well.
Simone did well with her version of Loving You, but why did the recap have to show her struggle to catch the high notes of the song?
Other performers of note included Carolynne, who gave a belting version of Run to You; and James, who may be a touch theatrical in his performance, but at least he game it some effort.
Nick, on the other hand, failed to impress full stop this evening, and was the correct choice to leave.
Louise failed to stir us, either.
Furthermore, Gary looked incredibly uncomfortable tonight, and - good voice aside - there's something about Alistair that just doesn't sit right with us.
As for Peter, we're not quite sure yet. Kookiness and sexy pouts only go so far with us (as cute as that pout is), and The Cheeky Girls have already got the copyright on that combination.
Poor Barry didn't even get the chance to open his mouth due to illness, so that leaves us this evening with our first proper favourite, Paris.
He handled one of our favourite songs, Superstition, fairly well, and we couldn't help noticing what a fine pair of pecs the lad has. Fickle? Us?
» Who should we be caring about most/ripping to shreds, and why? Let us know by clicking on the comment box below.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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