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Not tonight Santa

FESTIVE! The Friday Night Christmas Project with Girls Aloud, Channel 4, 10.00pm

The Friday Night Christmas Project with Girls AloudHooray, it's nearly Christmas! Unless of course you're one of those people who was feeling a bit like we were last week, in which case: fucking hell, hasn't Christmas been and gone yet? Just to warn you, lowculture will be slowing down a bit over the next few days as we prepare to travel to distant lands (most of them still within the United Kingdom, in fairness, but several of them not having wireless broadband so they may as well be on Prince Patrick Island for our purposes), but we will still be doing regular updates to cover the best in festive telly and other forms of entertainment. To get the seasonal weekend started, we are very pleased to see that Channel 4 have chosen Girls Aloud to do the Christmas edition of the somewhat variable Friday Night Project.

Girls Aloud are a lot more Christmassy than most bands, for reasons including but not limited to the following:

  • They formed shortly before Christmas 2002

  • They were responsible for the best Christmas No.1 of the decade (the fact that the competition is hardly fierce does not make this any less of an achievement)

  • Their mini Christmas album from 2005 includes some of the best Christmas songs ever, especially 'Christmas Round at Ours'

  • They are girls, and girls are better at Christmas than boys are

Press shots released this week have shown Cheryl dressed up as an angel for the nativity scene (which also features Nicola as one of the three wise men, a role she was surely born to play), and the Sun, which is obviously never wrong about anything, quotes Kimberley as saying (presumably at some point during the show) she tries to get off with Cheryl when she's drunk, surely to the delight of femslash writers everywhere. This makes the show worth 65 minutes of anyone's time, by our reckoning.

And on a random note, just think: five years ago, we'd all just witnessed the creation of one of the finest pop groups of the decade, and they were on their way to the Christmas No.1 spot with an amazing single. This year, Leon Jackson won the annual phone vote and is heading for the Christmas No.1 with a load of old rubbish. So much for progress, eh?

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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