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I'm gonna milk me a reindeer

FESTIVE FAYRE! Heston Blumenthal's Perfect Christmas, BBC2, 8pm

Now cookery programmes are one of our favourite pleasures, but Heston Blumenthal's In Search of Perfection has been unlike any normal cookery programme we've seen before. The geeky-but-loveable chef is renowned for his experimental cookery style, and the series just gone showed him travelling all over the world and using all kinds of kerrazy gadgetry (MRI scanners for example) to create 'the perfect' version of dishes such as chicken tikka masala and baked alaska. Of course, you wouldn't try this at home, and if we're honest, most of the results didn't appeal that much to us, but that doesn't mean it isn't all very fascinating.

This Christmas special features Heston cooking for six celebs (Terry Wogan, Richard E Grant, Rob Brydon, Sue Perkins, Dara O'Brian and Kirsty Walk, should that influence you), in a location we can only presume is Narnia (no sign of Mr Tumnus though... hmmmm... what IS the meat they will be eating?)

We are promised a menu including reindeer milk ice-cream, mulled wine that is both hot AND cold in the same glass, sugar baubles with salmon mousse, something called babe in a manger, which is, ahem, communion wafer sprayed with the aroma of freshly accompanied by sherbet fountains (!) and stock cubes served in gold, frankincense and myrrh.

We don't know if he'd win Come Dine With Me with a menu like that, but it's certainly worth a gander...

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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