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Jungle Boogie

DRAMA! I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! ITV1, 9pm.
So we reach the finale of the ITV celeb-fest. Despite having one of the best line-ups in years, we haven't seen much of this, mainly because it clashes with other things we prefer.
We do hope that, if nothing else, it relaunches Cerys Matthews' solo career (and inspires her to make something a bit better than Never Said Goodbye), and in the meantime we'll settle for a rerelease of Catatonia's Greatest Hits, which doesn't have one dud moment.
However, the person likely to benefit the most from this experience is our first finalist, Christopher Biggins. Or 'Biggins' as he is apparently known these days, a shtick that is as annoying as the voiceovers on 'Badger or Bust' always calling Ruth Badger 'The Badger'.
Biggins has seemingly aged very little since the 80s (although maybe then he had oldface like Ziggy and Brian off BB, Katie Hopkins, CJ from Eggheads and Rob the Builder off Joseph, and he has simply grown into it), and lost weight. And his trademark specs, which is a shame. But nonetheless, he is one of two people in this show everyone is talking about, and with his playing as a chatshow host last night, who'd bet against him taking over from Parky?
Our second finalist is just as talked about as Biggins. When we heard Janice Dickinson was going in, we knew she'd be entertainment gold. ALthough we did tire very quickly of her saying 'Oh man' every five seconds. Rude, brash, funny, snidey - she has been perfect casting, and has been this year's 'public victim' for Bushtucker Trials. But there's no way she will win.
In fact, whilst the final should clearly be about Janice and Christopher/Biggins, we have a sneaky suspicion the rank outsider may clinch it. J from Five hasn't done an awful lot, but he does look better than he did in his youth (again, he's grown into his oldface a bit), and ex-boy banders always do well at this kind of thing.
So, who will join Joe Pasquale on the road back to obscurity? Who will have a starring guest role in next year's Iceland ads? Who will publish a not-very-sensational autobiography? Time for yuo to pick up that phone (and not be scammed by ITV, at all, oh no, they would never do that).

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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