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Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting

FLASHY! Strictly Come Dancing, BBC1, 6:10pm

TRASHY! The X Factor, ITV1, 6:40pm

We're around the mid-way point of the live shows of each of these, so what are we making of them so far? Here is a recap of the runners and riders and the collective views of the LC community on their chances...

In the dancing corner, we have....

Alesha and Matthew!

'Alisha does indeed rock. Her boundless enthusiasm and constant off-stage bouncing is very endearing'. (Cherubic)

'Alesha's nans are ace! They need their own show!' (Rad)

'Yay for Alesha's two 10s though - just a shame they were dancing to the Our Tune music. My boyfriend put me off a bit by going "I've got a letter here from a lady, let's call her Arlene" all the way through' (pops)

Kelly and Brendan!

'I loved the editing of Kelly Brook saying 'I'm not just boobs and smile' then a cut to her giggling gormlessly then a cut back to the rest of her conversation'. (Joel)

'I do have a bit of a soft spot for Kelly and Brendan only because they are so trashy - they danced to a Patrick Swayze/Dirty Dancing song and Brendan did a slide along the floor!' (thelovelykate)

'Why does Brendan, year after year, break the rules. It doesn't make him a rebel, he just looks like an arse' (David Hunter)

John and Nicole!

'I love watching John Barnes too. I think it's just because he really gets into it and seems to love dancing, he also contributes his own little funky moves here and there' (Audrey)

Gethin and Camilla!

'Gethin i could just spread on a cracker'. (LoveMusic)

'That close-up of Gethin's crotch: surely a whole nation orgasmed?' (Sunset Bitch)

Matt and Flavia!

'I'm now really thinking that my sweepstakee, Matt, is every kind of fantastic' (Audrey)

'Matt/Gethin is so almost canon at this point it's hilarious.Okay, maybe not quiet, but it's still very entertaining to watch the two of them goofballing around together'. (Steven)

Letitia and Darren!

'Letitia was on with Paul O'Grady looking very svelte. It just goes to show if you dress well you can hide a multitude of sins. The wardrobe mistress on Strictly must really hate her. Who'd put a fat orange girl in a purple batwing with ruched hips?' (David Hunter)

'Letitia is my new favourite, until she goes. She's improved more than anyone and I'm loving her drama school expressions. LUST! PASSION! DRAMA!' (Paul)

Kenny and Ola!

'Kenny Logan's samba was exactly the way I imagine Gordon Brown would do it'. (David Hunter)

'Next week, Kenny dances with a haggis to The Proclaimers' 500 miles, ending the routine with a re-enactment of James McFadden's winning goal against France'. (S(J)S)

'Can we not just say everyone who votes for Kenny is foolish rather than insult a whole country?' (jamiek)

In the sob story corner...

Bellowing Beverley!

'Has Beverley suddenly obtained a sob story or have I just been tuning her out whenever else she mentioned it?' (timydamonkey)

'I'm not quite sure what the correct poker analogy is, but Louis will be so pissed off that they waited until now to show the Dead Parent card, only for it to mean nothing with Beverley's dreary performance'. (Paul)

'Also despite being boring I like Beverley. Whenever she's let near Dermot she won't stop pawing him. Considering I'd be exactly the same given half a chance I admire her. She's living the dream'. (Cherubic)

Dead Dad Nikki!

'I'm a bit behind, why is Niki getting called a bitch? I know she made that twatty comment to Simon about getting up and singing but HER DAD'S DEAD! Surely that should earn her infinite quantities of votes sympathy?' (El Capitan)

The Happy Incest Twins!

'It's times like these I wish Same Difference were in last years competition, because by now a Same Difference Christmas TV Special would already be in production, featuring a series of sketches, dancing, sparkly shoes and a mishap with a Christmas tree and/or turkey'. (Pectinase)

'My favourite Same Difference moment last night was when the boy one did the fist-in-the-air "get in!" sign when Dermot kissed him on the cheek'. (lowculture Paul)


'Well done Dannii for her softly softly approach to getting the gays behind Rhydian: topless, in underwear, Pet Shop Boys, SAILORS!!!! Sold - I'll support him now.' (jamiek)

'Oh, Rhydian. Yes, they are camping you up and making you weird. And that's your only appeal. Please don't fight it or I'll have to start hating you again'. (Joel)

Phoebe and the Skanks!

'It's painfully obvious the voting public, whoever they are, don't like it when the girls skank it up or act remotely trashy. So why does Simon continue to get them to act that way?' (The Moog)

'Going down and kissing Simon was gimmicky the first time they did it, but the second time just looked desperate. They could have at least improvised and tried it on with Louis'. (Paul)

The crap one who can't dance or sing!

'Okay, if I didn't hate Leon before, which I did, on Xtra Factor, talking about Alisha, he sang a couple of bars of 'Dreams' and then cackled. How is it remotely appropriate to sing the song that got someone in the bottom two and laugh at them?' (Joel)

'Leon has been absolutely dreadful so far, and is now adding insult to further insult by resurrecting one of the most hideous records ever made, by a band that precisely no-one will admit to ever having liked. So I guess he's safe for another week then'. (Mike)

And because it's all about the judges really....

'And then Bruno comes on the phone all "ciao bellissima!" with no defence for his scoring of 10 except "I was voting from the heart". Ridiculous'. (Minimula)

'Claudia's face during about 85% of ITT was brilliant. Chewing her lip uneasily while talking to Len, and shooting Craig a bitchface that Arlene would've been proud of.' (Steven)

'Len shouldn't shout so much, plus he looks like Frasier's dad'. (Sunset Bitch)

'I don't want Head Judge Len to have the casting vote in the dance-off any more; I think they should give it to Craig or Arlene. Someone who actually grades on the performance, and not how hard you tried or whether you were a SPORTSMAN on a JOURNEY who DANCES LIKE A FELLA' (Steven).

'Sharon was a bit (more) of a moose tonight, going on about how she has no control and just collects a check each week. Why the fuck is she there, then?' (Schmindie)

'Am I right in thinking NotLouis does all the choreography now? It was telling to see him cackling and laughing away behind Simon's head as everyone was bitching on at Alisha for 'her' choreography'. (Adrian)

'The fact that Hope are perceived as sluts and therefore not many people like them is entirely Simon's fault (and maybe NotLouis', too), so I have no sympathy for his hissy fit last night.' (Rad)

'I loved Simon's comment on Louis loving the sailors. Each show is incomplete without Simon outing Louis' (Robbing the Dead)

'My favourite bit last night was Louis, even when both groups were bottom two, reminding everyone it was his idea to put them together. He didn't seem to realise the public thought they weren't worth voting for!' (David Hunter)

'[In the audience for the live shows] You get actively told to obscure whatever Louis says with cheers/boos' (manchestergirl)

'Louis Walsh is such a f*****g knobskin. He gets worse and worse. I don't think I've ever wanted to punch someone so badly without having met them'. (Mike)

So, will the Scots ever stop learning to vote for crap people JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE SCOTTISH? [Allegedly]

Will Dermot, Tess or Letitia ever be dressed nicely by wardrobe? What craziness will come out of the mind of 'creative directior' Brian Friedman? Will any of the judges not piss us off? See you in the chat room and on the boards tonight...

And don't forget to visit The Bitch Factor and Strictly Come Bitching for all your blogging recap needs.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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