Friday, December 09, 2005
She's going daaaaahhhhhn?
JUDGEMENT! EastEnders, BBC1, 8.00pm
Poor Chrissie. When she arrived in Walford, she was a self-sufficient businesswoman of decent social standing, albeit one with a good-for-nothing estranged husband. Of course, Walford is a strange place, where women may enter feistily, but may not leave until they've had every last ounce of self-worth beaten out of them. They usually achieve this by getting pregnant with the child of Phil Mitchell or Ian Beale, however, so perhaps Chrissie should be grateful that she managed to sidestep that little plot pothole.
She is, however, currently languishing in jail and concocting a plan to prove to everyone that Den Watts was a worthless scumbag (true dat), presumably in the hope that the judge and jury will realise that she was in fact performing an act of public service by seeing him off and, rather than sending her back to prison, they'll release her immediately, stick her on the shortlist for an OBE, and give her 10% of everyone's TV licence fee. At least, she was - until she had something of a breakdown last night and slapped her irritating cellmate Gail (another selfless act on Chrissie's behalf to benefit the public at large) before bursting into tears and experiencing some sort of personal epiphany. The lovely and talented Tracy Ann Oberman bows out of the soap this week, so we have a sneaking suspicion that Chrissie will be rediscovering her self-respect and pleading guilty. And when we say that, we mean we read it in Inside Soap.
In still more legal drama (this programme could just run straight on into Bleak House and no one would notice), it's Janine's trial for the murder of Laura Beale - now with 100% less Janine! - and Frank knows that Pat's planning to commit perjury in order to deny Janine an alibi. Frank - who is still that strange puce colour as when we last saw him - has issued an ultimatum: if Pat goes ahead with her plan, he'll take to the stand himself and tell the court that she's admitted to him that her evidence is falsified. What will happen? Do we care? Not a lot, since Charlie Brooks didn't come back to reprise her role for this storyline, and if we don't get Janine back, we're so moving on.
To the best storyline going in EastEnders at the moment, which also happens to be the most low-key. Stacey Slater Ice Skater has gone back to visit her mum, Jean, who is not a well bunny. The local skanks have informed Stacey that her mother's behaviour is making her a public laughing stock - because all parts of east London that aren't Walford are entirely populated by amoral heathens, of course - and Stacey feels guilty for abandoning her mother, so she's decided to move back and look after her. Lacey Turner is an absolute find, and her performances in this storyline have been first-class as far as we're concerned, and for the first time in ages, we find ourselves caring about the outcome of a storyline that doesn't involve Chrissie. Fancy that...
Links to this post:
Wow! That must be a world record-length Lowculture update ... keep it up!