lowculture.co.uk

(function() { (function(){function b(g){this.t={};this.tick=function(h,m,f){var n=f!=void 0?f:(new Date).getTime();this.t[h]=[n,m];if(f==void 0)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+h)}catch(q){}};this.getStartTickTime=function(){return this.t.start[0]};this.tick("start",null,g)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var p=e>0?new b(e):new b;window.jstiming={Timer:b,load:p};if(a){var c=a.navigationStart;c>0&&e>=c&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-c)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load; c>0&&e>=c&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,c),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt",e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&c>0&&(d.tick("_tbnd",void 0,window.chrome.csi().startE),d.tick("tbnd_","_tbnd",c))),a==null&&window.gtbExternal&&(a=window.gtbExternal.pageT()),a==null&&window.external&&(a=window.external.pageT,d&&c>0&&(d.tick("_tbnd",void 0,window.external.startE),d.tick("tbnd_","_tbnd",c))),a&&(window.jstiming.pt=a)}catch(g){}})();window.tickAboveFold=function(b){var a=0;if(b.offsetParent){do a+=b.offsetTop;while(b=b.offsetParent)}b=a;b<=750&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var k=!1;function l(){k||(k=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",l,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",l); })(); lowculture: THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE

Thanks to internet trickery, we can see exactly what brings people to this website. We're always worried that random Google searches tempt people with particular lowcultural questions here, only to leave their thirst for knowledge (or, more likely, porn) unslaked.
For this reason, we've decided to try to answer some of the questions you are posing this week.
Q: Is THAT children's television presenter gay?
A: Who knows? We will be sure to ask him the next time we see him in G-A-Y in a tight vest and three-quarter-length trousers.
Q: What happens next in Footballers Wives?
A: Everyone fucks everyone else, and Tanya fucks Frank. TO DEATH!
Q: Do you have naughty pictures of Phixx, dressed as vampires, looking really, really gay?
A: Yes. Yes, we do!
Q: Is Alistair Appleton from off the telly gay?
A: Yes! Hoorah.
Q: Excellent! Does he have a Gaydar profile?
A: We don't know. And even if we did, we wouldn't be telling any of you.
Q: What happens with Todd and Karl in Coronation Street
A: Vigourous bumming, hopefully.
Q: Do you have any pictures of Carol Smillie in the nip?
A: Absolutely not.
Q: What are the chances of a coconut falling on my head when I am on holiday?
A: 50/50, at best.
Hope that's cleared a few things up!

By Paul :: Post link :: ::
0 pop-up comments :: Discuss on messageboard

0 Comments:

Tiny things for you to watch:

* To open in a
new window,
click anywhere
EXCEPT the icon.

messageboard

Your views from our forums. Click on the quote to join the discussion.

About Us

According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

GET IN TOUCH:
Click here to email.

Previously

DEAR READERS, :: FUCK ME FACTS! :: FUCK ME FACTS! :: PRODIGAL SON, WEDDING PLANS HAVE BEGUN, A SORT OF ... :: STUFF TO BUY :: FUCK ME FACTS! :: THURSDAY'S LOW POINT :: FUCK ME FACTS! :: FUCK ME FACTS! :: Hooray for us! ::

La Vida Lowculture