Monday, March 08, 2004
PRODIGAL SON, WEDDING PLANS HAVE BEGUN, A SORT OF MALE NUN, EXTRA-MARITAL FUN, COMING UNDONE, CREDIBILITY (NONE)
» The Kennedys' long-lost son Mal is back in NEIGHBOURS (BBC1, 5.35pm), and he's keen to help his dad work through his martial difficulties. We can't help thinking that their much more attractive son, Billy, would have been a better candidate for a guest appearance. For some reason.
» Sally is once again preparing to get married in HOME AND AWAY (five, 6pm), and we can only hope that things go a bit better than they did at her last aborted nuptials. Still, at least this means we can look forward to another of Pippa's visits very soon, which is more of a cause for celebration than some stupid wedding.
» Poor l'il Bombhead has been profoundly affected by Mr C's recent death in HOLLYOAKS (Channel 4, 6.30pm) – so much so that he's decided to join the priesthood. Don't worry, though, it's not so much a serious calling as an excuse for lots of comedy storylines in which the Hollyoaks ladies try to tempt him from the path of righteousness.
» There hasn't been an extra-marital affair in EMMERDALE (ITV1, 7pm) for at least 17-and-a-half seconds, so we're delighted to see that Scott is going to be attempting to get in about Dawn this week. Hooray for adultery!
» You would expect that the residents of CORONATION STREET (ITV1, 7.30pm and 8.30pm) might have noticed by now that all the major catastrophes in their lives take place on a Monday these days, ever since they started doing the weekly double-bill. If we lived there, we wouldn't dare emerge from beneath our duvet until at least 6am on Tuesday. This week, it's Nick and Janice who are in mortal peril, as she burns down the factory by mistake.
» And, last but by all means least, we have EASTENDERS (BBC1, 8pm). Actually, we are tempted to completely ignore it until it starts being less rubbish, which is what happens when the most promising new plot development is the simmering sexual tension between Kate and Ian Beale.
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