Tuesday, March 30, 2004
BEFORE YOU'RE GAY... YOU SEE THE HOLE
Spring, when a young man's fancy turns to hardcore gay pornography. And one new release in particular has caught our eye.
Most of you will have heard of The Ring, the spooky movie tale of a haunted videotape – if you watch it, you die within seven days.
Enterprising skin flick director Wally West has come up with a novel reimagining of this core concept for his latest epic, The Hole – this time, the tape turns you gay within seven days!
The first unfortunate straight boy who watches the tape soon finds himself drawn to the work of Liza Minelli, and tries watching another video featuring some slutty cheerleaders to take his mind off 'things' – but it's no good, and he's soon running down the street, frantically trying to hail the Other Bus. Before long, all his friends are joining in, and it turns into a bit of a circus, really.
If all this sounds a little bit sleazy, we are assured that as much attention has been paid to the plot and production values as the dirty bumming, and it gladdens our cold, black hearts to hear this.
Mark Adams, mucky film reviewer for IN Newsweekly in Boston, reckons that "The Hole is sure to capture many nominations when awards time comes around" - and, although we don't think he's talking about the Oscars (or even the Golden Globes), we don't feel qualified to question his judgement.
Having said that, if anyone has a copy they would like to lend us (just so we can be outraged about how filthy it is, of course), please leave it in the bushes round the back of the park and we'll pick it up on Thursday.
By Paul :: Post link
:: 
::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
