DRUNKEN FOOL, LESBIANS (DROOL!), KEEPING THEIR COOL
Karl's slide into alcoholism has so far gone unnoticed by Susan in NEIGHBOURS (BBC1, 5.35pm), but today is the day that she catches him red-handed. Poor old Taj is stuck right in the middle when tensions between the couple escalate. Awww.
Ellie's out of hospital in HOLLYOAKS (Channel 4, 6.30pm), and returns home to find the family in disarray. Good to see that they're keeping things as normal as possible to ease her back into everyday life.
Charity's still on trial for murder in EMMERDALE (ITV1, 7pm), and like most people in her situation would, she decides to offer the vengeful sister of her "victim" some lesbian lovin' in an attempt to get her to admit she knows what really happened.
Poor Billy is still mooching around feeling sorry for himself in EASTENDERS (BBC1, 8pm). And so he should be – Sam is looking so incredibly guilty every time she speaks to Sharon that it's surely only a matter of time before everyone realises he's been indulging in a spot of light arson in his spare time. Or will it? Meanwhile, Sonia and Martin might have had a snog-up in the Vic last night, but they're still meeting in secret today. Why? What is the point, exactly? We look forward to hearing the bizarre, utterly illogical reason tonight.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.