Thursday, November 20, 2003
Hey-ho, Auntie Mo!
She's nifty! She's thrifty! She's well past fifty! Yes, everyone's (soon-to-be) favourite advice guru Auntie Mo has arrived to share her gems of wisdow with the lowculture public.
Whether it be problems of an intimate nature or DIY tips (and in many cases, both) our Mo is here to help. But hey! Let's let the lady speak for herself . . .
Greetings, lowculture readers! I must say, I feel awfully priviledged to be able to impart some of my thoughts on life with the younger folks of today.
Now, I don't profess to be a whizz with this Internet malarky, but I'm like Jessica Fletcher when it comes to digging out information on-line. In fact, it seems to come to me without much scraping at all.
So far I've been offered cut-price Vidocin, and a rather tempting donation of cash from Mercy Koffi, the only daughter of the late former finance director, Chief Justice Koffie, of the Sierra-Leone diamond and mining corporation (all they need is my bank details and I'll be kept in Murray Mints till Christmas!).
But enough about me, it's time to answer your queries, which have been flooding in to my bulk folder like nobody's business. And I start my column with a medical query:
Tabitha Softtips emails: "I love the taste of d*ck, as long as it isn't my husband's!!!"
Firstly, Tabitha, I would like to thank you for having the courage to come forward with your concerns. And while I'm also thankful you took the time to illustrate your problem with a series of photographs attached to your email, I really must admit I had already got the gist of it from your initial statement . . .
Anyway, it seems clear to me the trouble your having stems from some kind of fungal infection in your husband's (ahem) gentilialular department. And judging by the look on your face, I shouldn't wonder if you don't have a touch of cystitis yourself.
My advice to you would be, rather than trying to mask the flavour, to try a touch of yoghurt. Apply liberally. And I should think removing that leather contraption might allow a little air to reach the affected area.
Auntie Mo x
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Whenever i see the post like your's i feel that there are still helpful people who share information for the help of others, it must be helpful for other's. thanx and good job.
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