Sad news today from the world of records that nobody wants to buy – Tatjana's Santa Maria 2003 will not be released after all.
Elderly people (like us) may remember that this cheap and cheerful summer song was the result of a collaboration between Stock, Aitken and, instead of Waterman, a European lady with enormous tits. It has been released every year since 1853, with varying degrees of no success.
Basking in the afterglow of the Fast Food Rockers, Mike Stock had decided to dust down the track, and Tatjana's tits, and have one more crack at getting it into the charts. But alas, it was not to be.
"A decision has been made that they have probably gone as far as they can with the track and feel it would not warrant a full release," said a spokesperson. With "as far as they can" presumably being as far as G-A-Y on a Monday night.
We were actually looking forward to the new version, especially as it seemed to have a new bit of tune somewhere in the middle. Maybe (indeed, almost undoubtedly) next year...
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.