The schlock you won't want to miss today.
» Richard and Judy 5pm, Channel 4 ... Pete Waterman is today's guest.
» Holby City 8pm, BBC1 (8.30pm in Scotland) ... Chrissie finally works out that her slut of a mother has been knocking off her ex-husband, and flies into a feaersome fury. And the investigation into the mysterious deaths on the ward continues – will an arrest be made? (Clue: Yes. Nic.)
» Alchemists of Sound 8.30pm, BBC4 ... The experts who used to clatter pots and pans together and run keys up and down piano wire to create the sound effects for Doctor Who are profiled.
» Wife Swap 9pm, Channel 4 ... Looks like this will be another goodie, as an authoritarian mum swaps places with a free spirit, causing arguments, recriminations and walk-outs. Hooray!
» Little Britain 9pm, BBC3 ... This seems to be on about 37 times a week at the moment, but this is the important one, cos it's the new episode.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.