The schlock you won't want to miss today.
» Murder, She Wrote 2.35pm, BBC1 ... Jessica visits Amish country in search of a special quilt, but her travelling companion is accused of – gasp! – murder.
» Holiday 2003 7pm, BBC1 ... We wept bitter tears this weekend upon hearing the news that Craig Doyle is hanging up his holiday bumbag at the end of this series. Catch him while you can.
» Terri McIntyre 9.30pm, BBC Three ... Arlene's Nana Hunter comes to stay at the flat – a turn of events that sorely tests Terri's patience.
» The Money Pit 10pm, Sky One ... Tom Hanks and Shelley Long fight a losing battle against their new home.
» The Frank Skinner Show 10.30pm, ITV1 ... Under normal circumstances, we would sooner recommend you poke out your own eyes with a rusty spike than watch the Frank Skinner Show. But today is different, because Mylene and Kym from out of Hear'say will be reunited in the studio.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.