The schlock you won't want to miss today » Drop The Celebrity 5.35pm, ITV1 ... Another show using the word "celebrity" in its very loosest terms. These shows are written with Richard Blackwood in mind as a contestant, surely? Six contestants try to avoid being ejected out of a plane. We say someone hide the parachutes . . .
» Dead Calm 10.15pm, Five ... Sam Neill and Nicole Kidman get terrorised aboard their boat by a very hunky Billy Zane. Well, hunky apart from the psychotic tendencies, of course.
» South Park: The Movie 11.40pm, Channel 4 ... Hmm, with the whole South Park thing over and done with as far as we're concerned, watching an hour and a half of it may be a bit of a slog. But we missed it at the flicks, so we might give it a go.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.