The schlock you won't want to miss today* » Hollyoaks 6.30pm, Channel 4 ... Drama about self-absorbed whingers getting everything they deserve. Watch this and feel instantly more satisfied with your own life.
» Eastenders 8pm, BBC1 ... Hooray for stalkers! Mad Irish bint Louise turns over Phil’s gaff in a fit of jealousy. Phil, Kate and Louise promptly move to the Queen Vic. She’d never think of looking there.
» My Hero 8.30pm, BBC1 ... George indulges in a spending spree. Ah, we knew someone must have been responsible for commissioning another series of this tripe.
» Awesomely Bad Hair: All Access 10pm, VH1 ... Nope, not a Coronation Street special (Step forward, Hayley), but a look at the bad barnets that graced music videos over the years. The 80s have a lot to answer for.
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
*Except you might want to on this occasion. Whatever happened to Friday night telly?
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.