We want to move to Japan - purely because they have all the best (ie worst) gadgets.
Hot on the heels of the Bowlingual - a sinister-looking collar you attach to your dog which allegedy translates their various woofs and growls into humanese - comes the Meowlingual, a similar contraption for cats.
Typically, our feline friends have completely refused to allow the prototypes to be attached to their neck by any means, so the cat version will be a hand-held microphone, which you will have to present to your cat in the hope that it will say something.
Takara Co. have shifted about 300,000 of the doggie model since its launch last November, and are confident that cat owners will be similarly keen to find out what their moggies are trying to tell them.
To save gullible punters 8,800 yen, we can reveal that your cat is usually saying "Why the fuck aren't you feeding me?". Or, at least, that's what the lowculture cats are usually trying to say.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.