The schlock you won't want to miss today
» The Simpsons 6.30pm, Sky One ... After an argument with Marge, Homer moves in with a pair of homosexualists, and it looks like their 'special' ways might be rubbing off on him. (New episode)
» Coronation Street 7.30pm, ITV1 ... Hooray! Steve has managed to persuade Karen to return to Weatherfield. But will she stick around now that Janice is sticking the knife in at every opportunity. Elsewhere, Martin is consumed with jealousy when he sees Katie with another man.
» Where The Heart Is 8pm, ITV1 ... We never thought we would see the day when smack came to Skelthwaite, but tonight Karen discovers her long-lost son has got a serious habit. Peggy Snow would, no doubt, be turning in her grave, if she wasn't a fictional character.
» Big Brother 10am, Channel 4 ... Your first chance to see just how much Jon has been fucking with the housemates' heads since his shock return on Friday night, complete with psychobollocksual analysis by the usual experts.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.