Saturday, June 07, 2003
Conspiracy theory alert!
It's been a while since we updated you on the progress of those new pop scamps, the Fast Food Rockers, whose irritatingly catchy Fast Food Song is addling brains up and down the land.
As you may know, these behemoths of pop are the hellspawn of Mike Stock, and are the first prong of his many-pronged comeback (fans of Natalie Powers from Scooch should be getting excited right about now, by the way).
To the amazement of precisely everyone, the Fast Food Song appears to be catching on in a big way – even The Face lists it as one of the 34 most essential records of the month in the latest issue. And the song has been the top selection on video jukebox channel The Box for weeks and weeks.
So far, so good, you would think. But you would be wrong. Because The Box have removed the song from their playlist this week, despite the fact that it's still No.1 in their own chart. They claim, rather uncharitably, that if the song is played too much then people will switch to other channels.
This is an interesting new policy, as The Box have hardly shied away from playing previous supremely irritating novelty hits 325 times an hour.
Fans of Mike Stock smell a rat, and reckon that the music industry is conspiring against their hero to prevent him triumphantly reclaiming the No.1 spot. It seems the notion that the very sight of the PVC-clad Rockers cavorting on the nation's TV screens would be enough to persuade thousands of viewers to switch over to MTV Hits is just too much for them to bear.