The schlock you won't want to miss today
» The Simpsons 6pm, BBC2 ... Great episode in which the family acquire a Mary Poppins-style nanny. Make sure you pay attention right at the very end, as the last joke is the best one!
» Holby City 8pm (8.30pm in Scotland), BBC1 ... Sob! Poor Ben's dead. Despite the fact that a poll on our messageboard revealed that 53% of you don't give a toss whether he lived or died, we're still quite sad about the whole traumatic episode. The good news is that the Angel of Death, Kath Fox, is back at work, just a fortnight after being cleared of bumping off her late hubby (despite the fact that she did it).
» I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here All day then all fucking night, ITV1/ITV2 ... If you don't like this programme, you're out of luck for the next couple of weeks – there's no escape!
» Is there something else we should be watching? Click on the comment link.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.