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Ring out the old, bring in the new

ANOTHER YEAR OVER! New Year's Eve telly

So, 2007, then. The year that brought us two Big Brother race rows, Any Dream Will Do, Harry Potter film 5 and book 7, floods, an actually good remake in the form of Hairspray, a new Prime Minister, Heroes, LOLyoaks, McDean, Ugly Betty, Martha Jones, Steven Beale, data loss by the government, High School Musical 2, David Platt, the LC chatroom, the rise of misplaced apostrophes, Facebook for the masses, John Simm as The Master, X, Gavin and Stacey (and also Max and Stacey... ewww), Britney's shaved head, Tangled Up, King Biggins, Umbrella, Enchanted, Same Difference, Big Evva, Sarah Jane Adventures, Stardust and THAT Indy article.

So, how are our TV schedulers sending this year out? Well, five is basically not bothering, with only the film version of Oliver! at 4:20pm of any note - and with their recent mini-series and the upcoming I'd Do Anything, the Beeb has missed a trick by not getting this one. They don't have any show whatsoever to mark midnight. Channel Four are doing little better. They also fail to have anything happening over midnight, although they have a Monty Python evening beginning at 8. However, they do up the ante somewhat with a new series of LC fave Come Dine With Me at the ridiculous hour of 4:55pm, so you best start remembering to set those videos/PVRs/Sky+'s when you go back to work...

ITV1 also has little on offer, although there is a double bill of Coronation Street at 7:30 and 8:30pm, where we see if Liz McDonald will marry Tricky Dicky off of EastEnders. The channel sees the new year in with a Take That and Friends at the O2 Arena at 11:15pm, which is a bit odd, but hey. They then try and grab Channel 4's audience with Monty Python's The Meaning of Life at 12:45 am, and you can cleanse your mind of images of Hollyoaks' Rubbish Tranny in fishnets with a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at 2:40am.

As is usually the case with big occasions, BBC1 has it all in the bag tonight, with a new series of Celebrity Mastermind at 6:30pm, followed by Spice Girls: Giving You Everything at 7, in which all five give interviews about their rise, their break-up, their fame and their reunion. Oh, and Geri cries. The 8pm episode of EastEnders ensures that Kevin Wicks (and thus half of Walford) will not be having a very happy new year, then at 8:35 we have The Vicar of Dibley Story which is basically a talking-heads/clip show thing and we think it was on last year, but what the hey.

As for the big 'see in the new year' shows, we have The Big Finish at 9:40, where Graham Norton and a bunch of celebs go over the year's events in much the same way Clive James always used to do, presumably in the format of the Bigger Picture which we were the only people who liked. Then you should turn over to BBC2 at 11:10 for Jools' Annual Hootenanny with Paul McCartney, Kate Nash, Kaiser Chiefs and KYLIE MINOGUE OBE. Yes, that's KYLIE. KYLIE HOO(TENANNY). BBC1 is also doing some actual rubbishy see-in-the-new-year thing at 11:10. Myleene Klass, naturally, will be there. No word on the Barrowman yet, but fear not, you can always watch this if you want to see out 2007 in the presence of its two most omnipresent personalities:

So long, 2007! And to show we still love our Scottish friends despite Leon, let's all join hands and sing: 'Should auld acquaintance be forgot....'

A NEW ONE JUST BEGUN! New Year's Day telly

Anyway, enough of that, we have a whole new year to be getting on with, and our dear telly schedulers are heralding this new era with... well, loads of very old movies, in fact, the same ones that they show on every New Year's Day, although they are all packed with LC icons: Bedknobs and Broomsticks, 12:20pm, BBC1, Mary Poppins, 4:05pm, ITV1, Singin' in the Rain, 3:10p, Channel 5, and, ummm, Sister Act 2, 3:25pm, BBC1. BBC1 also sneaks in a repeat of Kylie Who at 2:15pm.
Pink Name. There is are two newish films on today - BBC2 premieres Finding Neverland at 5:30pm, and Channel 4 premieres Fantastic Four at 8:10pm, and we never got round to seeing these at the pictures, so that will be nice.

But there are three main events tonight, two of which clash, so make sure you are armed with Channel 4+1, 4OD or BBC iPlayer to avoid heartache. The first big offering of the evening is Sense and Sensibility on BBC1 at 9:10pm. You may think you have seen versions of this before, and you'd be right, but, like Dickens, it seems you can never have too many versions of Austen on the telly. This is followed by the first episode in the new series of Jam and Jerusalem. Now, this series divided people first time round, and we must admit, it took us a few episodes to get into it, but we soon grew to love the characters (played by the best ensemble of British female talent until, and since, Cranford, with David Mitchell and one or two other men cropping up) and the setting. Think of it less as a full-on sitcom and more as a gently funny drama and you'll love it, we promise. Well, you might, anyway. Oh, and just to warn you, episode two is this Friday. We will remind you of this at the time.

The other big hitter, which Paul gave you a teaser of a few weeks ago, is the opener of series 5 of Shameless. Now, series four was pretty below-par, but we hold out higher hopes for this one, with the promises of Lilian's knocking shop, Ian bumming Carl's teacher, Mimi having weight issues, and, er, a beach. In tonight's episode, Frank is told he only has days to live, and presumably hilarious high jinks ensue. Unfortunately Monica is still around, but fortunately, so is Norma. And who knows, maybe Monica will decide to bugger off again soon. We can hope.

Here are the first fruits of 2008, then. We'll be with you for the rest of it: Mistresses, Big Brother, Dancing on Ice, Torchwood, Doctor Who, Rubbish Tranny getting his comeuppance (we can hope), Strictly Come Dancing, The X Factor, The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2008, and maybe even The Olympics if we get really over-excited.

Happy New Year, lowculture!

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Just for the record, I though series 4 of Shameless was great.

By Blogger Paul, at 12:30 pm  

Series 4 of Shameless was great, not at all 'below-par'.

By Blogger David, at 3:09 pm  

That's really a matter of opinion though, isn't it?

By Blogger Steve, at 8:48 am  

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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