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Better off wed?

NUPTIALS! EastEnders, BBC1, 7.30pm

EastEndersThis is clearly a bad, bad week for wedding karma. We hope none of our readers are planning to get hitched on Saturday, or at least if they are, that they don't consider the events of soap operas to be in any way portents of how things are likely to go. Then again, when people get married in soap operas, they usually do so for a stupid reason, because that has more dramatic potential than something boring like being madly in love with someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them. God, how dramatically inert would that be?

So yesterday we dealt with Sarah Platt's second attempt to wed Jason Grimshaw, which was at least slightly marred by the attempted suicide of her brother David, who was presumably upset that she wouldn't let him be the ring-bearer. Tonight, it's the ostensibly happiest day of Bradley Branning and Stacey Slater's lives, as they prepare to pledge their troth for eternity. Which would be fine, had his father not been giving her the hot beef injection for longer than we care to remember, or indeed remember to care.

Making things harder still is the fact that notable wildcard Sean Slater has rumbled Stacey and Max's affair, because dear God SOMEBODY had to eventually. So the big question is whether he'll be able to make it through the ceremony, particularly that tricksy part about people here present who know of any impediment, et cetera. And Stacey herself is probably getting a bit wobbly, as the reality of getting wed to someone who doesn't know that you can compare his bedroom prowess to that of his father finally starts to hit her, and she wonders if she's doing the right thing. Picks her moments, does that one.

And so the scene is set for another will-they-or-won't-they soap moment, and let's hope this sets the wheels in motion for the whole ghastly affair to become public knowledge so we can all get on with the rest of our lives, eh?

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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