Monday, August 14, 2006
Why Aisleyne must win!
» She superseded everyone’s initial expectations of her as another dim promo girl bimbo who’d be evicted on Week 4. 
As you can see from the top of this website, we're backing Aisleyne to win Big Brother. Unfortunately, as you all well know. St Lowculture is the patron saint of lost causes, so one of the really awful ones will probably win instead. But you can't say we didn't try.
If you think you know better than your beloved LOWCULTURE, firstly you can fuck off, then you can read this definitive list of reasons why only Aisleyne should emerge victorious from the house on Friday night, as compiled by an amazing LOWCULTURE messageboard member called, appropriately enough, You Better Know Yourself.
» She assessed Sezer’s bullshitty ‘businessman’ wannabe player cred, having met a million of his type in every club in London, within about ten seconds, and thus proceeded to irritate the shit out of him by just being.
» She had to pinch her nose to stop herself from laughing immediately after Sezer was evicted.
» Being the only person apart from Richard to stick up for Sam, giving her some quiet advice about being overfriendly and telling Nikki to back off with the intrusive gender inquisition.
» Her ‘botherd’ ‘special needs thong’ response to Grace’s coven and their sneery looks.
» In her time in the house, Aisleyne has been called a bitch, slag, fucking slut, wigga, dick, cow, moose, wannabe black girl, hoochie mama, ghetto ho, hood rat, ugly, hideous, vile, revolting, fake, arselicker, drowned rat, easy, and the most evil woman in the entire world (thanks, Lea). In her time in the house, she has called Nikki boring, Lea manipulative, and Grace a bitch after she threw water at Susie.
» Her open and vocal contempt for the alienation Grace et al inflicted on Sam and Susie.
» She was the only person to call out Grace for throwing water on Susie to her face, whilst everyone else waited until she had gone.
» Her scaring the shit out of twatty Lisa post Watergate. Lisa screams in her face. Aisleyne slowly gets up and towers over her. Aisleyne demands to know who she thinks she is pointing at. Lisa’s eyes wiiiden.
» Immediately after this Aisleyne took her heels off so as not to be intimidating.
» Her enviable inventory of eyebrow manoeuvres.
» Her spectacular sense of humour as displayed in that week when she decided to get very drunk indeed because she kept hearing ‘Aisleyne out’.
» Her and Lea’s impressions of each other. ‘Me name be Aisleeeeeeeeeyne! Me bredrin!’
» ‘Nikki! Nikki! I want Nikki, I love Nikki!’ ‘When I look at her I feel physically sick’
» ‘I’m not a man teef. Unless he’s really fit’
» ‘You better know yourself before you talk about me, little girl!’
» ‘When I see that girl, you know, I’ma dash water in her face. Nah not really’
» ‘All up in my face like a proper rude girl’
» ‘I wish I was a little bit taller, wish I was a baller’
» Her wardrobe being an eclectic mix of a gangland Mutya Buena and a middle aged new age healer dressing up as Joss Stone for Halloween.
» The fact that she once sang Buffalo Stance in the garden and knew all the words.
» Being the only woman Pete has clit teased then ignored not to go insane over it (Lea, Lisa, Nikki, Jenny…).
» Her ‘I’m sooo sorry babe’ reaction to ‘get Grace out #1’ when immediately prior Grace had been smirking like crazy at the belief the crowd were booing Aisleyne.
» Her ‘bad!’ reaction to ‘get Grace out #2’.
» The cutaway to Grace, Mikey and Lisa (and Sezer?)’s faces when her name is announced as winner would be the best Big Brother moment of all time.
» Davina does not like Aisleyne at all (‘Hahahahahah look at her crying!’). It would be very interesting to see how this would colour a ‘winner’s interview’.
By Paul :: Post link
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18 pop-up comments
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18 Comments:
I adore Aisleyne. She's the only remaining contestant whose face I don't want to stove in. She'll never win in a million years because BB winners are chosen by fat secretaries who like mutes with Tourette's or Welsh guys who can't string a sentence together and not the only person who has enough brain cells to rub together and has also been great to watch.
Euurgh! Aisleyne! Are you MAD!!?
By 
, at
11:17 am
Aisleyne on not throwing water at Grace: "As if I'd lower myself to her level".
anonymous = Grace
She ain't gonna win.
By , at
5:23 pm
She is one of the few that has kept it real in the house and she is a girls girl in her own words she ain't no man teef!
By , at
5:45 pm
Thank you! Thank You! Thank You!
At last someone tells it like it is.
By , at
11:37 pm
Brilliantly argued.
By , at
5:53 am
i love aisleyne and would love her to win :) I wanted Glyn to win from the start but i think he blew it with his ill advised excitement over the return of Grace (which is ok - we all made bad friend choices at 18).
Yippee for Aisleyne. Thought I'd hate her. Ended up loving her almost instantly. I sooo wanted Grace to have a go at Aisleyne when she went back into the house - if only for the reason I believe Aisleyne would kick the living shit out of Grace if it came to it. Aisleyne to win!
Brilliant article! I want Ais to wiiin!
By , at
4:26 am
I love Aisleyne! She's one of the few real people (along with Richard) who isn't fit to be institutionalised, and what's more she's a woman rather than the strange, androgynous creatures that pass for girls in that house. She's been victimised all the way through because she's bright and thinks about things - which makes for a hard time in a show where you more gormless you are the more 'entertaining' you are.
By , at
9:50 am
I hated her to begin with, but her response to seeing herself say "I'll fuck you up" was amazing. It's that perfect and impossible thing, where you confront someone with them being a twat, and they say "God, I was a twat, I'll never fucking do that again".
By , at
5:09 pm
No matter how hard BB tries to knock Aisleyne's popularity, she redeems herself with dignity.In my opinion BB wants Pete to win and they have tried every dirty trick in the book to lower Aisleyne's chances because she is now the biggest threat to Pete (the machiavellian incident and the clip from her audition to mention only two). If Aisleyne doesn't win she's been robbed but she will always be the winner for me. Brian.
By , at
7:14 pm
It annoys me that anyone can even consider voting for pete or nikki when you have aisleyne, the most honest, decent, funny housemate this year.
Who the hell could possibly want pete to win over aisleyne? hes a fucking novelty person for christs sakes! a circus clown, and the dead friend thing was dreadful. such a low way to get votes. And nikki should burn at the stake as far as im concerned
By , at
8:44 pm
I have NEVER voted on Big Brother, but your article has inspited me to vote. Aisleyne to win!
By , at
8:45 am
Aisleyne has been the underdog of this year's show - not Pete, who was adored and patronized from the start. Grace was a venomous snake and Nikki a cackling hyena in the House Next Door. Richard let himself down by not sticking up for Ash. Even Glyn and Jennie have turned into backstabbing bullies, forgetting all what Aisleyne has done for them. Ash has been a loyal friend, a true hearted moralist, a confidante, a shoulder to lean on, a sage advisor, and above all, a brilliant BB housemate, with a brass pair of balls that Pete obviously lacks. Vote Ash!!
By , at
1:39 pm
If aisleyne dosent win, i'll have no faith in BB anymore, which one of them other housemates, would take a pregnant girl off the streets & lend her their bed whilst living in a hostel? (Mirror aug 18) Nuff said!
By , at
2:10 pm
