Thursday, January 05, 2006
The power of SQUEEE!!!
SPELLBINDING! Charmed, Living TV, 8.00pm
RIP Piper Halliwell, Phoebe Halliwell, Paige Matthews and Leo Wyatt. Yet more casualties from the forces of good in the war against evil that has already claimed the lives of Patty Halliwell, Penny "Grams" Halliwell (although she technically died of a heart attack in an unrelated incident, but still, she threatened to kick our corporeal ass if we didn't include her), Andy Trudeau, Prue Halliwell and the extremely pretty future self of Piper's son Chris. The Charmed Ones (and Leo) lost their lives - along with the structural safety of their cellar - when they destroyed the Nexus and vanquished Zankou at the end of season seven (and if all of this is making your head spin, you'd do as well to stop reading now). Despite the fact that no one should move into a house where, just a few days previously, a massive explosion blew out the foundations, season eight starts with Victor Bennett, father to Piper and Phoebe, holding a memorial in the Manor. Soon to be joining him, he mentions, are the sisters' three cousins from out of town: Julie, Jo and Jenny Bennett. They'll be staying to help him keep up the house and sort out all the red tape, not to mention babysitting Wyatt and Chris. Hmm. Three sisters. Names all beginning with the same letter. Remind you of anyone?
Of course, the Halliwells (and the Matthews) aren't dead, but then we did learn that at the end of season seven. The rest of the world, however? Still in the dark about that. Piper's keen to use this opportunity to get that normal life she's been harping on about for the best part of seven years. Phoebe, as self-involved as ever, gets a premonition of herself marrying SEX AND THE CITY's Jason Lewis (displaying none of the charm - no pun intended - here that he showed in that role), immediately links this to the future daughter that she saw in her vision quest a while back, and spends the next few episodes doing her best to get herself knocked up. And somehow that storyline manages to be more tasteless than the episode in season six where poor, destined-for-shitloads-of-therapy Chris had to get his dad to bang his mum up against a wall in an alley to facilitate his own conception. Sheesh. Paige, meanwhile, is cross that no one cried at her funeral (cue a fabulous guest appearance by AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL's Janice Dickinson, who is sadly not present long enough to tell Phoebe that she looks like she has a penis) but is also trying to get on with her life, if only she could ignore that ringing in her head. Looks like someone's been given a new charge...
...which is the cue for 8 SIMPLE RULES's Kaley Cuoco to become a thoroughly unwelcome addition to the main cast. She plays teenage witch Billie Jenkins, who is sooper-dooper powerful (apparently) and spends most of this episode wearing ridiculous PVC outfits and pouting vacuously. She's unwelcome primarily because (a) she is a terrible actress, (b) her character is really annoying, (c) her character sucks, and (d) she's a terrible actress playing a sucky, annoying character. Unfortunately we'll have to get used to her, because she's been plonked in the show to target the lucrative tweenie market, and she's stuck in the opening credits right between Holly Marie Combs and Brian Krause, the latter apparently having worked out a lot over the summer break because he's looking quite good this season. (Unfortunately the show's budget has been slashed and Krause was one of the casualties, so make the most of him while you still can.) Worse news? CHARMED doesn't look long for this world, and the people behind the show have made no secret of the fact that they're hoping Billie is ripe for a spinoff. Considering the generally hostile reaction the character has had from fans stateside, we can only hope she spins off into the same wall that saw Prue meet her maker.
Oh, and some demons suspect the sisters may have faked their own deaths, and are out to investigate. No peace for the Wiccan, it seems.
By Steve :: Post link
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5 Comments:
That is one of the most ignorant "reviews" I have ever read. We are bombarded with such eloquence as "sucky" and "annoying'. This "reviewer" sounds like one of the immature for his age 12 year olds on the many Charmed boards. To call Kaley Cuoco "a terrible" actress, although opinion, is an opinion that is vacuous, wholly unfounded and totally at odds with her popularity with the public and the industry. It is hard to believe that greedy and hard-headed producers and casting directors would hire such a terrible actress practically from the time she could walk and talk to adulthood. They would have to be very stupid if that were the case and would be unlikely to survive in the cutthroat business that is entertainment. This opinion, if true, also paints the public that so loves her in a very unfavorable light. Perhaps the industry pros and the public is wrong and Steve is right, but my money is on the other alternative.
By 
, at
8:09 am
Oh yes because public taste is so infallible. Big Brother? Crap Idol? The time Bob the Builder got to number one instead of Eminem's Stan? I saw the first episode and I thought Cuoco and her somniferous character were terrible. As for industry professionals the cold hard truth is that Cuoco is blonde and has a reasonable figure and is younger than the other lead actresses.
Nice review Steve and don't let the bastards grind you down.
By , at
12:38 am
[I]To call Kaley Cuoco "a terrible" actress, although opinion, is an opinion that is vacuous, wholly unfounded and totally at odds with her popularity with the public and the industry.[/I]
First, I agree with Beatrice. Just because the public has an opinion does not make it a fact. Although, I don't understand your comment because Kaylee is far from well known anyway.
Second, it's not unfounded when it's true. She really is a horrible actress. She lisps her lines, she has two facial expressions, and can be so drastically over-the-top that it's both hilarious and enraging.
Third, producers and casting directors cast bad actors all the time. See the film "House of Wax" and the television show "7th Heaven" if available for proof of that fact. "Charmed" is particularly famous for doing so.
Excellent review, Steve. You commented on all the right things.
By , at
1:14 am
Dear anonymous,
Thank you for the feedback. You are, of course, entitled to your own opinion, just as I am entitled to mine.
I'm intrigued by your use of "vacuous" to describe my opinion of Cuoco's acting - perhaps you'd care to elaborate on this? I stand by my description - nothing about Cuoco's performance in this episode hit the mark as far as I was concerned. Her line deliveries were flat, her face was expressionless, and I couldn't really discern any sense of character, as opposed to Kaley Cuoco just reading some lines whilst wearing an outfit on a soundstage.
I'm also somewhat confused by your suggestion that casting directors and producers are infallible. How many reviews have you read (and I mean reviews written by people far more qualified than myself) where a lead actor is described as "miscast"? Believe it or not, it does happen. Unfortunately, plenty of people manage to eke out acting careers by having the right look and knowing the right people. Often people are cast for their familiarity and the audience/fanbase that they'd bring with them, as I hinted in my preview. I'm not saying this was definitely the case here, but Kaley Cuoco's fanbase and the fanbase of Charmed would seem quite similiar, so you could see why they might choose to go with her.
As for Cuoco's alleged popularity with the public and the industry, I can only speak of my own experience and say that in this country, few people know who she is, and I suspect even fewer people care. I've followed the reaction to her character with interest since this season debuted in America, and I can't say that I've seen much in favour either of the character of Billie or of Kaley Cuoco in the role. Your mileage may vary, of course.
I gain no joy from seeing Cuoco turn in inadequate performances. I'd be the happiest person in the world if she proved me wrong and turned in a stellar performance in what remains of her time in Charmed. Judging by the episodes I've seen, however, I'm not hopeful. She's no Holly Marie Combs. Heck, she's not even Alyssa Milano.
Great and accurate review, Steve. I don't know what anonymous is smoking, but 8 Simple Rules was cancelled due to low ratings. The only reason that show once did okay (and never phenomenal, just okay) was because of John Ritter. Kaley Cuoco had nothing to do with that show's success and it looks like she will be the death of Charmed. She is horrible. And it gets worse. Kern needs to give up the idea of centering a spin off around her and check out the campaign going on to get one for Piper's boys at http://forums.thecharmedsons.com and http://www.thecharmedsons.com
By , at
1:57 pm
