Thursday, November 10, 2005
Famewhores of the world unite
FESTIVE! How Not to Decorate, Five, 8.00pm
Property queens Colin and Justin appear to be people for whom indifference is not an option - either you love them or you hate them, and both camps are pretty heavily populated. We won't admit which camp we're in, but we will point out that tonight's show may be extremely difficult to stomach whatever your disposition.
As though Justin and Colin couldn't provide enough attention-seeking on the show, the home being remodelled in tonight's show belongs to Neil and Christine Hamilton, as you may have realised from reading the site earlier this week, or from watching Five yesterday morning. If you were watching Five yesterday morning when Colin and Justin had a little chat with Christine via satellite link-up, perhaps you could let us know what on earth the thinking was behind those fugly jackets that C&J were wearing that made them look like they ought to be punting riverboats somewhere in Oxford. Anyway, we kind of have to hand it to the Hamiltons - they have an arguable talent for getting themselves onto every TV show going, regardless of the subject matter. That must take a special kind of talent; one which Kate Lawler no doubt wishes she possessed.
As the entire world knows by now, the boys clash with Christine, who hates the colour they've elected to use on the house. With any luck, there'll be one hell of a catfight caught on camera before the show finishes. Actually, if we're truly lucky, the show might just end on a close shot of four bloodied and expired carcasses.
Also on tonight: Those of you with access to E4 might want to tune in to a rerun of the season four opener for Smallville, since it's that episode where Clark, having recently returned to Earth reprogrammed as Kal-El, starts the programme off naked in a cornfield and doesn't appear to be in a hurry to put any clothes on.
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That trail was the cause of much hilarity in our house. We re-dubbed it as...
"I'm the bottom."
"No, I'm the bottom!"
"No! You were the bottom last night. I'm the bottom tonight."
They're a vile pair.