Thursday, February 12, 2004
HOW DID WE EVER MANAGE WITHOUT IT?
Before Everyone Else On The Internet starts writing lots of rubbish on their weblogs about how Footballers Wives is Not As Good As It Used To Be™, we would like to offer ten reasons why it is every bit as good as it used to be.
1. Tanya breaking the fourth wall to address the viewers directly with a stunning recap right at the start.
2. Horses in fancy hats.
3. Chardonnay's wreath being written in Brush Script font. It's what she would have wanted.
4. Deep thinker Darius pondering Chardonnay's tragic demise: "If you were gonna die, wouldn't you just eat something. Even if you weren't hungry? Life or death, man. Have a sandwich"
5. Jackie getting it proper off Marcus Tandy out of Eldorado. The dirty cow.
6. Roasting, bare arses, strap-ons, lapdancers, topless models, and what-have-you.
7. Tanya's repeated shagging of Conrad, especially the one on top of the washing machine during the spin cycle.
8. Triads taking control of the catering at Amber's party and serving up her beloved pooch as the main course.
9. The revelation that poor dead Chardonnay was the bitch with the bottle who sent our beloved Jason hurtling toward the gravel at an alarming rate at the end of the last series.
10. Tits, tits, tits, tits and – yes! – more tits. (Usually we don't approve of tits, but here they are clearly integral to the plot).
All this and they've not even started with the bumming yet (unless you count Amber's strap-on – which, for the record, we don't).
By Paul :: Post link
:: 
::
0 pop-up comments
:: Discuss on messageboard
